You can take this to the bank. ;^)
Waking up is starting over, but starting over in a way you CAN NOT imagine today - not with your theories, your logic, or your spiritual science.
The desire for waking up, is wanting to be ONE person, in the head -not the thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands or more, pseudo-peeps that currently occupy your (as I've called it) city.
And not just one person, but truly alone, and never at home.
In the beginning, everybody is a rebel who seeks enlightenment. They leave their ordinary home - of their family's religion, upbringing and education, etc. - and search for a new home. Buddha did not find the answers he was looking for in Hinduism, so he went looking elsewhere, hence Buddhism. Jesus did not find what he was looking for in Judaism, so went looking elsewhere, hence Christianity. That, was simply finding a new home. But - try to think about this non-formatorily - changing from one home to another home, is not, being enlightened.
Home, the way I'm referring to it, is your ordinary genetic neural temperament. You can't train or re-train that termperament. Buddhism can't help you, Christianity can't help, Fourth Way can't help you.
Everyone wants to call themselves, something - Catholic, Christian, Buddhist, Gurdjieffian, Ouspenskiite, etc. - and it doesn't matter what they call themselves. They are born, in a home, and they want to say, "I am a [fill it in]."
How do people become [fill it in] - they simply live the life their genetic neural temperament dictates. They gravitate toward people, ideas, and geographies, NOT because "they" chose to do so, but because they couldn't help themselves. For an entire life, people can not help themselves - all just happens to them, INCLUDING the crazy, nutso, irrelevant ideas and theories that they identify with.
Becoming truly alone, is starting over, without guilt (for having disrupted your prior beliefs), without fear (of possible potential failure), and with monstrous unquenchable courage. It's an act of Will that keeps giving and giving in ways you can't predict, imagine, theorize or philosphize about in advance.
A Real Rebel, one who has started to understand the only journey worth embarking upon, is the discovery of the inner landscapes of their own mind, will quickly discover to their utterly awesome amazement, that all the "higher knowledge" they "thought" they were "seeking", was just low-rent impertinent junk stored by a mostly faulty memory-process they never had any willful control over, and the real Higher Knowledge they start to acquire, was born into their genetic neural temperament - but now, they understand what to do.
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