Death of the Damsel

(Works for Damoiseau's too.)

Ask a hundred people what they would consider to be "dying a good death", and most would say it would be to die at home, in bed, asleep. A few of the action-oriented types, would say they'd want to die as they lived - skydiving, mountain-climbing, piloting their plane - you know, "fighting the good fight till the end".

Human life is a journey unto death. And if death is not an end, then it must be a bridge to somewhere, we-know-not-where. At death, one will either be asleep in a sickbed somewhere, ordinary walking-around awake, or conscious.

If one is conscious, one can step onto and across the bridge. If one is just awake, one will step onto the bridge, but only possibly cross it. And if one dies in their sleep, unconscious, then one just collapses there in a pile at the foot of the bridge, with all the rest who've gone before.

An obituary column of three people:
Ms. A., lying there in her terminal sickbed for the last several weeks, now asleep, unconscious, unaware of what's taking place, barely breathing, weakened pulse, finally dies, slumped in her bed, takes her place among the rest at the foot of the bridge. Because she died while unconscious, she is survived by nobody.

Ms. B., walking around, ordinarily awake, has a massive coronary, eyes bulging, shooting arm pains, unbearable pressure in the chest - she's aware of what's happening - then she dies, right there on the side of the road, but at least she knew what was going on, and so stepped onto the bridge. Because she died while awake, she is survived by her immediate family and friends.

Mr. C., fully conscious when he died, didn't really 'know it' - oh, he Knew it but he didn't notice any particular change-in-circumstances, he just stepped out onto and across the bridge, while we, on this side, just 'lost sight of him' - though he didn't lose sight of himself. Because he died conscious and aware of what was happening, he is survived by the whole world. A true bodhisattva.

It does not matter the circumstances of your untimely death, where you are, what you are doing or not doing, what you did while alive, or didn't do, nor the circumstances around you at the time, or leading up to the time of your death - all that matters is your state of consciousness at the actual time of death. That is why 'taking your own life', or 'allowing it to be taken' (Jesus-like, Socrates-like) - conscious suicide - might not be such a 'bad thing'; at least, then, you're in control of the moment when it happens. At any other time, you're under the law of accident.

If a conscious man or woman does die, do they Will it so? 

And if so, is that suicide?

originally published in May 2004